I want you more

He’s mine and he lives next door

He’s mine but

I want you more.

I’m lonely in my room

and I know he’d come

but I wish I could close my eyes

and it would be you

knocking at my door.

But you’re three hundred miles away

probably in some other girl’s bed

and I know you’re not thinking of me.

And he won’t come because I won’t call

because it’s not fair to him

but I want you more.

What to do with Love.

How do you say “I love you?”

Boys and girls and I don’t know how to handle my feelings.

“Love you” slips off my tongue like we say it everyday.

And I do, but just not to you.

It’s a natural and easy thing,

I love so many people.

Not an “I’ll drop everything for you” kind of love

though there’s some of those too.

No,

it’s more of an “I appreciate your existence,” and

“I respect you as a person,”

and to me that feels like love.

It’s a different kind of love,

but love all the same.

And amongst so many feelings,

that’s how I feel about you.

I’m sorry

if you took it

the wrong way.

9 Things You Shouldn’t Do With Your Ex-Boyfriend (but if you do, it’s okay, ’cause I’ve done them too)

1) Tickle fights are bad. Don’t go there.

2) When he tells another girl he loves her, don’t hold on.

3) Do not text him good morning.

4) Do not let him come crying back to you after he breaks up with his girlfriend. You haven’t spoken in months. Don’t be the rebound.

5) You probably should not spend time alone, and

6) You shouldn’t let him spend the night at your house when your parents are out of town. (Or ever.)

7) Do not confess your love for him. It’s O-V-E-R over.

8) Don’t make up metaphors for sex together. Asking someone to “stir the mac and cheese” with you isn’t cute.

9) When he tries to hug you, you definitely should not grab his face and make out with him. Just sayin’.

Pretty.

People try to make life

about pretty things,

waterfalls and stars and

clouds that look like cotton candy

and sunsets

and grand professions of love

and apologies.

 

But life is not pretty.

Life is dirt on your shoes,

gum on the sidewalk,

dirty laundry and dirty dishes.

Life is braless Saturdays

and microwave popcorn and movies at midnight

with butter onĀ  your fingers

and your fingers on your tounge

waking up with knots in your hair

almost lunchtime cause you stayed out too late.

It’s cakes that taste like playdoh

because you forgot about the eggs.

Life is messy.

 

It’s stupid pop songs that you hate

but sing along to anyways

It’s vomit on the bathroom floor

Sloppy kisses and onion breath,

It’s sweat and blood and swears

and laughter at vulgar jokes

that probably shouldn’t be funny.

 

Because people drown in water

and cotton candy is sticky

and clouds bring rain.

Love allows us to hurt

and apologies mean that something

went wrong, somewhere.

 

Life is pretty messy.

 

 

Rainy Days To Spend Alone

I used to enjoy my time alone.

Rare half hours

of loud music

and dancing in the kitchen.

 

Weekends alone

were the best.

I’d spend hours

plucking strings

on my dad’s guitars

just because I liked

the sound.

 

I used to enjoy rainy days

and dance

under the gutter

during hurricanes.

 

When it rained,

I’d sneak outside

late at night,

and strip to my underwear

a let every drop

hit me and

it was so cold and sharp.

 

And I loved it.

 

But somehow I started to

spend my time alone

being lonely,

and I still like rainy days,

but only because

they match my mood.

I don’t dance

anymore.

 

And I’m not sure when I stopped

being happy.